How do you see what is happening in the world? How do you see it changing? How do you see the shifting dynamic between men and women?
Why do I upset both men and women at the extremes when I write. What am I doing that scares them so much. Why can’t they acknowledge what is really happening in the world and join to make it even better.
I recently posted on The Good Men Project a piece about parallels between what has been happening in Ukraine and the struggle for masculinity. I received a fascinating reply from a woman who said…
“The world is becoming more ‘feminine’ in its workings and men hate the idea of claiming femininity so they take all these characteristics that are deemed ‘feminine’ and call them the ‘new masculinity’ so that they can get credit for this new ‘more moral and honourable way of living’ without giving credit to the example that they are following – the feminine.”
This immediately set me on edge and pissed me off. Why?… Continue Reading
I often ask men, “What will you stand up for, what are you willing to die for?” I see this question being played out around the globe.
Like many in Europe, I am cheering on the people who are changing the face of their country through their own personal power. I am cheering for the individual who has made an enormous fortune through the success of his entrepreneurship. Finally I am cheering on the end of the old guard who thought that, today, they could still rule by force and domination.
I honour the achievement of Jan Koum, the CEO and joint owner of WhatsApp, who has sold his business to Facebook for an enormous sum of money while retaining control. This is no mean achievement. What makes this success of his more interesting is his background in the context of what is happening right now.
Jan was born an only child in the Ukraine, in a rough, rural village outside of Kiev. “Society was extremely closed off,” he recently told Wired. “You can read 1984, but living there was experiencing it.” When he was 16, he emigrated to California with his mother.
For those he left behind there was a long struggle to right the wrongs created by Churchill, Stalin and Roosevelt at the Yalta Conference in 1945. The post-war settlement allowed the Russian Empire to dominate half of Europe. Some of the people put under Russian dominance are still fighting to free themselves.
Read the full article on ‘The Good Men Project’.
Men keep going because their wife, children, colleagues expect them to. They keep going because of the shame of giving up. Graham Phoenix looks at when he went to the edge and kept going.
I lay under the duvet cover screaming, screaming out loud. I could feel the break coming. I felt helpless and hopeless and I did not know what to do, I did not know how to deal with my wife, with my life. I was lost; as a husband, as a man, as Graham. I knew something was wrong, something more than the clash of brute force and stubbornness, something more than titan struggle that had been going on downstairs. I was so lost I could not even work out what was wrong, I just wanted the world to go away.
After thirty years of marriage all I could see was destruction and emptiness. The love was destroyed, the friendship and companionship was being prised apart by the alcohol and the addiction. Over recent years I had done what a man does; I had solved the problems. It was supposed to easy. The application of male logic to a situation could solve anything, no?
I screamed as I realised I had not only not solved the problem of my wife’s alcoholism, I had made it worse. My logic had failed to lever open the door of my wife’s emotions to reveal the dark secrets in side. It had, in fact, nailed the door shut and sealed the gaps.… Continue Reading