Male Bonding – Being A Man Is So Straightforward

I love seeing male bonding. I love seeing the way men simply love each other’s company without the need to talk or gossip. This is true male intimacy.

male bonding

On a beautiful Saturday morning by the Sneekermeer in Holland, bright and cold, looking out over the water I see a typical picture of Male Bonding. Two men sitting in a boat fishing. Two men with their backs to each other, not talking but enjoying each other’s company.

They wouldn’t do it alone, it just wouldn’t be the same. Women find this incomprehensible, they wonder what they can find of interest.

So what is it that men are doing and why do they find such comfort in it?

Men Bonding – How Do They Do It?

1) Nothing

Men love thinking about nothing. The way they deal with stress and responsibility is to leave it all behind for a time and empty their minds completely. They find this refreshing and invigorating. They can have the most serious problems to deal with but their way of dealing with them is to let them go, temporarily, and just be. This is why television is so favoured by men.

Sometimes I do this while my partner’s mind is raging around ‘everything’ that’s going on. She cannot understand how I can just switch off! When men do this together they support each other in this place, they understand in a women can’t.

2) Focus

Men love to focus, it’s their raison d’etre. Even better is when men can focus together. Fishing is focusing, on the fish, on the techniques, on being out and away. Together the encourage each other and intensify the focus.

Focus on a hobby, that has no real significance, is a way of connecting with your masculinity while letting the rest of life go. Nothing then focus is a powerful combination.

3) Male Bonding – Being Together

Men find it difficult to be together without having a reason, a purpose. Women love the process of being together for no reason just talking and talking. men are not natural ‘talkers’, they need to be ‘doing’. Just being together suggests a closeness that is dangerous for men, disturbing. (Remember the film Brokeback Mountain…) This is something they do with women. But if there is a task… then it’s ok.

4) Hunting

Men have a powerful ability to focus on one thing for a long period of time. This way of being has evolved from old wiring, once necessary for the survival of the species.

Having a one-track mind was necessary for the hunter to patiently wait for his prey so they he could feed his family. A man is just expressing his ‘hunter’ by becoming fully absorbed in the task at hand.

5) Male Bonding – Talking

Finally there is talking. Men do it to communicate information, otherwise why bother. They will talk about what needs to be done, etc., on the trip, but they won’t fill the time with endless chatter. What is the purpose of that?

So a task that doesn’t need talking is ideal. Fishing is sitting and letting the fish do their thing, no real communication needed.
I love being a man, it’s so straightforward!

5 Responses to Male Bonding – Being A Man Is So Straightforward

  1. Im a guy in my early sixties and have tried ‘too hatd’ to be a man. I am a sensitive and caring guy, not gay, but just a bloke living in a culture that suspects that when two male friends are close emotionally and intellectually that both are gay!!!! How stupid can society in the West become?

    If all men bonded in a non sexual way, what a happier and more peaceful World we would live in!!

  2. [...] started the month looking at ‘Male Bonding‘. I looked at how men bond together, how peaceful and content they are when they sit together [...]

  3. Sat Nam ( reverent greetings)

    Thanks for this post – I would like to make an addition from a yogi’s point a view.

    According to the ancient yogis, Men have a one-pointed mind, and a powerful ability to focus on one thing for a long period of time. This explains the watching sports for hours on end.

    This way of being has evolved from old wiring, once necessary for the survival of the species.

    Having a one-track mind was necessary for the hunter to patiently wait for his prey so they he could feed his family.

    A man like to be alone – he’s just expressing his ‘hunter’ by becoming fully absorbed in the task at hand.

    peace to ALL,

    Catalyst Yogi
    http://twitter.com/catalyst_yogi
    http://www.youtube.com/user/mensnewmoon

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