Grateful People and Ungrateful People

“There’s no greater difference between men than between grateful people and ungrateful people.” (R H Blyth)

grateful people

I am at the end of the launch window for “How To Love A Woman’. There have been some amazing responses, one’s that have touched me deeply. Yet economically this is not going to enable me to retire. What matters to me? What’s important? Why am I doing it?

Let me put it into context. I received a comment to one of the videos where Alun told the story of his marriage and the issues that he and his wife are dealing with. He finished,

“So for me Graham, this program has arrived by fate in time hopefully to get our lives back on track and to open a new chapter in our lives.”

Alun hit right to the very core of what the programme is all about. It’s about helping men turn themselves and their marriage round so they can create amazing lives for themselves and their wives.

This is a unique and powerful book. It is a record of a series of conversations with Christopher Howard on masculinity, sex, addiction and relationships. In them both Chris and myself opened ourselves up in a very personal and revealing way. We held nothing back and explored what it is to be men.

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What is most powerful for me is the synergy of gratitude inherent in this. He is grateful for the opportunity I have presented to effect change in his life and I am grateful that he sees what I am saying and is determined to do something about it.

Compare that to the comment of an unnamed former colleague of mine who reacted to an email I sent my lighting design contacts about the launch of the programme. On a message board of anonymous people he said,

“i says it flim flam as women are completely incomprehensible”

He then goes on to seriously mock elements of my work and writing.

I don’t care what he thinks of me but I am upset that he feels the need to do this publicly and tries to get kudos for himself in the process. What I do is not for everyone but does it make someone feel better about themselves when they knock down something that’s not for them?

I sense a feeling of entitlement in the latter commenter that is entirely absent in Alun’s case.

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‌I think all men I meet have issues to deal with, issues of certainty, issues of awareness, issues of authenticity. The difference is the willingness to accept that they exist and the willingness to do something about them.

I think all men I meet have issues to deal with, issues of certainty, issues of awareness, issues of authenticity. The difference is the willingness to accept that they exist and the willingness to do something about them. Thank goodness there are Alun’s in this world. Thank goodness the trolls don’t rule.

—Photo‌ AndYaDontStop/Flickr

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