It is women who cause men to change. It is women who cause men to really see themselves. It is women who cause men to be great.
I have been talking to a group of men and women in the last few days about how to get men engaged in their own advancement, in their own future. I was told that men need it and women want it.
There is an old saying,
“Behind every great man is a great woman.”
I now see why this is so true.
Women in long-term relationships want their men to be great. They want to see their men be certain and grounded. They want to see the masculinity in their men.
I know this is true in my own life. I know it because my wife tells me. I know it because it was her original rejection of me that caused me to shift and become a man.
Not every couple have this level of openness, this level of honesty.
Yet women still women still want their men to be great.
Last night I was talking to a man who is my age. He was telling me how great bios marriage is, how close he and his wife are.
“It wasn’t always this way, though”, he said, “I lost track of where we were, I became totally engaged in my career. Until, one day, my wife told how things were not working. She was gentle about it, but very firm. Things had to change, and then she told me what had to happen.”
He doesn’t remember this with resentment but with love. He simply did not realise what was happening. He is now grateful for the intervention of his wife.
Tony Robbins loves telling the story of how he can often be sitting working, totally focused on what he is doing. He will become conscious of little pieces of paper hitting him. Looking up he will see his loving wife, Sage, flicking pieces of screwed up paper at him. He will stop what he is doing and spend some time with her, focusing on her.
This is not his wife being needy, it is not his wife nagging him. She is taking him out of himself, helping him to bring balance to his life. Yes, she wants attention, all his attention, but she also wants him to see a bigger picture. She wants him to see his focus in the context of his life.
Do you see your man’s greatness even when he cannot? Do you see what he needs when he does not? Are you willing to be seen as interfering in order to help him shift and become amazing?
Let me know in the comments what has worked for you in the past and how your man has responded to your intervention?
Do you think this is the way to get men to accept the help they so often need?
"Outstanding, insightful and thought-provoking"
"Finally. Dialogue to comprehend!!!"
"Journey to the Core of the Masculine is many things: a guide to masculinity, a much needed resource for the men of our time, but above all, a great read."
This is a unique and powerful book. It is a record of a series of conversations I had with Christopher Howard on masculinity, sex, addiction and relationships. In them both Chris and myself opened ourselves up in a very personal and revealing way. We held nothing back and explored what it is to be men.