Health, Spirituality and Masculinity

Surrendering To Masculine Energy

Why do you need to surrender to masculine energy? There’s no denying it; the masculine energy is intense. In fact, masculine energy is sometimes scary, from a woman’s perspective. Of course, I won’t neglect to acknowledge that many modern women won’t relate to this notion. Some may not think masculine energy can be intense or even scary at times.

Surrendering To Masculine EnergyWhy do you need to surrender to masculine energy? There’s no denying it; the masculine energy is intense. In fact, masculine energy is sometimes scary, from a woman’s perspective. Of course, I won’t neglect to acknowledge that many modern women won’t relate to this notion. Some may not think masculine energy can be intense or even scary at times.

Whilst Feminism has done some great things for us, it has also made women quite domineering with a tendency to castrate men with a single look. I suppose this is partially where the term ‘Ball-Breaker’ began to tread our vocabulary.

This is a unique and powerful book. It is a record of a series of conversations with Christopher Howard on masculinity, sex, addiction and relationships. In them both Chris and myself opened ourselves up in a very personal and revealing way. We held nothing back and explored what it is to be men.

You don’t want to be a ball-breaker. Nuh-uh. Some women think this is really cool; to have a man’s “balls in a jar”. It’s not. It destroys the virility and spirit in men. When I was in Law School, girls used to talk about how some powerful women had their man by the balls. This is quite insulting – it’s not funny. It’s a real problem.

I know that in this day and age, the idea of “stereotypes” is not encouraged. Neither is the notion of gender differences. In fact, some people believe that there shouldn’t be gender differences at all. That there ought to just be ‘people’. Yes, we are all people, but there exists in every one of us, a combination of two energies. Masculine and feminine.

Some women are more masculine at their core, but most are not. Men have feminine energy as well. All humans need a good balance of both; but most females are feminine at their core, and most males are masculine at their core.

Whilst many women understand femininity and the role that it has, very few ever manage to truly surrender to a man’s masculine energy, and finally be free.

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I want to start by indicating that much of a woman’s inability to ‘surrender’ so-to-speak, is to do with this underlying power struggle that plagues many relationships (when I say power struggle, I mean in terms of egos battling, in a relationship). Many people don’t want to ‘make the first move’, say I love you too much, be vulnerable to their partner/show their vulnerability, show love as often as they should, because they fear that the other person may then have more ‘power’, or ‘control’ of the situation.

This doesn’t just happen in relationships – it happens in friendships as well. And, it is a common trait among women these days. Men do this, too. But I think you’ll know what I mean when I say that, as a group of women in this modern age, many are taught to be independent and ‘strong’, and have the ability to ‘not be hurt’.

Pain is a part of life

The reality is that, no matter how much we want to avoid pain, it’s going to come. Pain is a part of life. It’s there to remind us that we are alive. Unfortunately, in today’s society, honesty (and I mean REAL honesty, not insensitive bluntness disguised as honesty) and showing our emotions/vulnerabilities is not encouraged.

Surrendering and power

This is where the idea of ‘surrendering’ to a man can be mistaken to mean ‘the man has the power’, or that ‘the man has control of the woman’, or the idea that ‘the man is oppressing the woman’, and that the women is WEAK. This is not true. If a woman shows her vulnerability, then it seems that she is ‘weak’.

In a loving relationship, there is no such thing as power, or control. Both spouses are equal, yet different. One of the most beautiful things about a relationship is that the feminine energy can feed a masculine man’s heart. And, the masculine energy can totally light up the feminine energy.

The feminine energy is never truly free unless and until the masculine energy shows up for real, and is ready and wiling to protect and serve. Both energies need to feed each other. I won’t deny that it IS hard for women to be truly feminine in today’s society, because there are lots of terribly egocentric people around, and once they see vulnerability – they will step all over it. Especially women. In fact, women are the worst to other women.

If you look carefully, it is the modern ‘butch’ type woman who senses vulnerability in a more feminine woman and tramples all over it. But, given the masculine energy, no feminine woman has to be afraid, if she has or is able to attract a masculine man in to her life, because she knows that he is there to protect if and when she needs it.

Surrendering to Masculine Energy

The idea behind surrendering to the masculine energy, is not becoming more masculine to survive, no longer fearing it; and needing to stand up to it or fight it – but to trust it and let it protect you, and to actually let it have its own role in your life. That’s what it’s there for. A lot of men do use their masculine energy in a very bad way (rape, sexual/mental/emotional abuse). But, we are not looking to attract these types of men, and whilst you should always be alert and aware of that type of man, we need to nourish and encourage the men who use their masculine energy for the better.

Surrendering means letting go. And trusting, and letting a man (or woman) take care of you when you need it. It’s also about letting him in, and liberating yourself from your fears.

Masculine and feminine core energy is very much about sex. But, this does not always mean you must have sex to express this energy, not at all!! Sexual energy encompasses the mind, body, soul and spirit. SO many women have trouble truly opening up and letting go during sex. And, that’s understandable. These days, the word ‘slut’ is thrown around a fair bit, and most women don’t prefer to be labelled a slut.

But, any normal person knows and understands that having sex is a part of life, and it’s there to be enjoyed. Human beings are made to procreate! By the way, might I just say that, if you don’t have an orgasm (most women don’t) it’s not because of anything other than your mindset. And not opening up and relaxing fully.

What does surrendering to masculine energy involve?

You have to be 100% in your feminine energy at a given time to fully be open to/surrender and let the masculine energy in. Femininity is beautiful, and any masculine man will live AND die for it. My man tells me that the masculine energy is here to protect, and I believe this wholeheartedly.

All we have to do is look at the large number of powerful movies about some villain who slaughters a man’s family or wife/girlfriend, and what that man becomes when this happens to him. Think of the movies Death Sentence, A Man Apart, Law Abiding Citizen, Taken, and Man On Fire.

The simple message taken from these movies is: never take away a man’s wife and children, or a woman who is close to him in his life.

The more feminine you are, the more masculinity you will trigger in a man. If you want to experience powerful sexual drive, passion, and aliveness, let go of the past hurts, the pains, the men who may have hurt you or taken advantage of you (or the women), let go of your need to be ‘in control’, let go of the need to be ‘strong‘ and vicious.

Once you really let go and learn to breathe and relieve yourself of the past pain and suffering, you can and WILL either attract that masculine/loving male in to your life, or if you are taken, you will bring out the most amazing and intense masculinity in your man – and not only that, but you and your man will be able to heal each other.

Resisting masculine energy

Don’t resist the masculine energy. At times, it may seem like a man is angry, moody, or intense and perhaps these things may scare you or cause YOU to become more defensive (very common problem)/angry/resentful/pushy/aggressive. Instead, despite how intense or intimidating he may seem, smile to yourself and know where it all comes from. Feel confident that the FEMININE energy CAN and always will be able to handle the masculine energy (without matching its aggression and anger). And, not only HANDLE it, but inspire it, drive it, and influence it!

The more you let go of emotional, sexual and physical resistance, the better your love life or dating life will become. You will also have the sex life that other humans only dream of. And, your man will be so smitten by you and the purpose you give him that he would never want to leave. (there are definitely other big purposes and roles in a man’s life, other than the life he has with his woman; and I do acknowledge this of course).

Surrender with love, acceptance and openness completely and fully to the masculine energy. Whilst a woman has her ‘ocean of emotion’, the man should understand this and be her rock during these times. If a man lives in his masculine, he equally understands his responsibility and treats a woman’s vulnerabilities and emotions with strength and understanding.

A woman’s feminine energy fuels a man’s masculine energy. Remember this when you feel resistance and tension in your relationship. If you are both in a bad state, remember that you can break a man’s state and get you both in to a more resourceful and loving place.

Bad states, arguments or tension can be broken by one or both of you working to bring out your true core (whether masculine or feminine) and removing the masks.

This also helps to create positive associations. Relationships break down because of too much negative association that outweighs the positive association.

Polarity

It’s like the positive and negative charges. This translates to the feminine and masculine energy. A woman ‘wearing the pants’ in a relationship is the worst thing that could happen. Whilst a woman should be able to hold her own, be a challenge to a man, have her own ideas, dreams and be able to influence people in her own feminine way – the man must have a very real masculine role with her and his family.

If two people are too similar, they’re more like friends. This is why sex is so important in a relationship. If sex is gone – then there’s not much left to your union as a man and a woman. You become more like housemates or companions.

And, really – most men just want women to relax, stop thinking about 150 million things at once (especially during sex) and make time for HIM, to be open to him and be intimate. And, intimacy is not just about sex. You must make your man feel important, and not second to the homemaking, your career, the children, your girlfriends, the laundry, feeding the dog, going shopping, visiting your parents, etc etc. Women always find things to worry about or think about! 🙂

So, even though this may sound kind of cheesy – let your hair down, be a little crazy, out of control and have a good laugh or giggle about something that isn’t even that funny. Or, cry about something you’ve been meaning to for ages. Love things, rather than criticizing or turning your nose up at things. Revel in freedom and learn to LOVE and enjoy men and the role that they have. If you’re single, you’ll attract them like you wouldn’t believe. If you’re taken, you will still get interest, too 😉 but, most importantly – you will have the most amazing relationship.

Men just cannot resist a woman who loves and respects men. And I mean genuinely. I don’t mean the kind of woman who just wants to sleep around. I mean true appreciation and acceptance of masculinity.

And, I’d like to leave off with this quote:

“Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it” —RUMI

This post was originally published in ‘The Feminine Woman‘ as Surrendering To Masculine Energy.

Other articles by Graham Reid Phoenix:

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—Image Credit: Flickr/Rui Fernandez (Creative Commons)

Renee Wade

Renee Wade

I believe you have the power to attract your ideal man, have him fall head over heels in love with you, wanting to commit deeply to you and have the passionate relationship you’ve always dreamt about.

It doesn’t matter if right now, you’re sad about what has happened to you in the past, or maybe even angry that someone has done you wrong, it will all change in the future. You’re about to learn some of the most closely guarded secrets to help you succeed in dating and relationships with men.
Renee Wade

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